The Bard Gets Cheeky: 90 Funny Shakespeare Quotes

Funny Shakespeare Quotes
Funny Shakespeare Quotes

Shakespeare had a sense of humor in addition to being famed for his classic plays and sonnets.

His writings are chock-full of pithy, amusing lines that still make us chuckle today.

We’ll look at some of the funniest Shakespeare quotations in this post, guaranteed to make you smile.

Funny Shakespeare Quotes

  1. “How art thou out of breath when thou hast breath to say to me that thou art out of breath?”
  2.  “I wish my horse had the speed of your tongue.”
  3.  “Do you not know I am a woman? When I think, I must speak.”
  4.  “I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow, than a man swear he loves me.”
  5.  “I can see that he’s not in your good books,’ said the messenger. ‘No, and if he were I would burn my library.”
  6.  “God has given you one face, and you make yourself another.”
  7.  “Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.”
  8.  “He that loves to be flattered is worthy o’ the flatterer.”
  9.  “Life is as tedious as twice-told tale, vexing the dull ear of a drowsy man.”
  10.  “Maids want nothing but husbands, and when they have them, they want everything.”
  11.  “O thou invisible spirit of wine, if thou hast no name to be known by, let us call thee devil.”
  12.  “Lord, what fools these mortals be!”
  13.  “I will praise any man that will praise me.”
  14. “My pride fell with my fortunes.”
  15.  “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”
  16.  “Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?”
  17.  “I dote on his very absence.”
  18.  “There’s many a man has more hair than wit.”
  19.  “Cowards die many times before their deaths; the valiant never taste of death but once.”
  20.  “A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool.”

Shakespeare’s famous quotes about love

  1. “I would not wish any companion in the world but you.”
  2.  “Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin, as self-neglecting.”
  3.  “Doubt thou the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.”
  4.  “I am one who loved not wisely but too well.”
  5.  “A young woman in love always looks like patience on a monument smiling at grief.”
  6.  “My bounty is as boundless as the sea, my love as deep; the more I give to thee, the more I have, for both are infinite.”
  7.  “They do not love that do not show their love.”
  8.  “I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.”
  9.  “Love is heavy and light, bright and dark, hot and cold, sick and healthy, asleep and awake.”
  10.  “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.”
  11.  “Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”
  12. “Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, shall win my love.”
  13.  “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”
  14.  “Do not swear by the moon, for she changes constantly. Then your love would also change.”
  15.  “If music be the food of love, play on.”
  16.  “Love is too young to know what conscience is.”
  17.  “Did my heart love till now? Forswear it, sight! For I ne’er saw true beauty till this night.”
  18. “Don’t waste your love on somebody, who doesn’t value it.”
  19.  “And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.”
  20.  “Love is a smoke made with the fume of sighs.”
  21. “In black ink my love may still shine bright.”
  22.  “Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom.”
  23.  “See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. O, that I were a glove upon that hand that I might touch that cheek!”
  24.  “The course of true love never did run smooth.”
  25.  “Love sought is good, but given unsought, is better.”
  26.  “For which of my bad parts didst thou first fall in love with me?”
  27. “Speak low, if you speak love.”
  28.  “Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.”
  29.  “Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.”
  30.  “So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, so long lives this and this gives life to thee.”

Best Shakespeare Quotes

  1. “Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and others have greatness thrust upon them.”
  2.  “We know what we are, but know not what we may be.”
  3.  “Sweet are the uses of adversity which, like the toad, ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in his head.”
  4.  “Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.”
  5.  “Give every man thy ear, but few thy voice.”
  6.  “Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown.”
  7.  “How poor are they that have not patience! What wound did ever heal but by degrees?”
  8.  “Nothing can come of nothing.”
  9.  “How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good deed in a naughty world.”
  10.  “What’s done can’t be undone.”
  11.  “Though she be but little, she is fierce.”
  12.  “No legacy is so rich as honesty.”
  13.  “This above all; to thine own self be true.”
  14. “I wasted time, and now doth time waste me.”
  15.  “The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.”
  16.  “The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.”
  17.  “One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”
  18.  “What is past is prologue.”
  19.  “Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.”
  20.  “Sweet mercy is nobility’s true badge.”

Shakespeare Quotes About Humanity

  1. “What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!” – Hamlet
  2. “To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles” – Hamlet
  3. “All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players; They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts” – As You Like It
  4. “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet” – Romeo and Juliet
  5. “The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings” – Julius Caesar
  6. “The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together” – All’s Well That Ends Well
  7. “As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; They kill us for their sport” – King Lear
  8. “Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind” – A Midsummer Night’s Dream
  9. “What’s done cannot be undone” – Macbeth
  10. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so” – Hamlet
  11. “The course of true love never did run smooth” – A Midsummer Night’s Dream
  12. “There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries” – Julius Caesar
  13. “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man” – Hamlet
  14. “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit” – Twelfth Night
  15. “The miserable have no other medicine But only hope” – Measure for Measure
  16. “Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once” – Julius Caesar
  17. “The quality of mercy is not strain’d, It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven Upon the place beneath: it is twice blest; It blesseth him that gives and him that takes” – The Merchant of Venice
  18. “We know what we are, but know not what we may be” – Hamlet
  19. “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy” – Hamlet
  20. “To thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man” – Hamlet

In a nutshell, if you’re looking for some laughs and a good time, don’t miss out on my collection of funny Shakespeare quotes. These witty and clever lines are sure to put a smile on your face and brighten up your day.


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